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Love Lessons: The Dangers of Pursuing a Taken Man

Love Lessons: The Dangers of Pursuing a Taken Man

The Dangers of Pursuing a “Taken” Man

In the later years of my life, I began seeing a certain pattern in women that is becoming more and more of a issue. The issue is claiming a taken man. Ouch!!!

What is a “Taken” man?

– A man who is married

– A man who has a girlfriend

– A man who is in between relationships and is unsure of what to do next

– A man who hasn’t healed from his last relationship


Danger Zone:

– You attract what you are so if you attract a cheater, it’s because you are one too

– You believe everything he tells you even when it’s not the entire truth – you collect no evidence for yourself

– You ignore obvious signs that he is not healed

– It is a reflection of your lack of self-worth – meaning you don’t have the confidence in yourself to seek a man who is unattached to another woman.

– You will reap what you sow eventually. The same thing you chose to engage in will certainly come back to you.

– If you attract a broken man, it is because you yourself are a broken woman in some area of your life


I often wonder why a woman would want a man who is still attached to another woman. Why would a woman think so low of herself that she doesn’t believe that she is good enough for a man who is completely detached from his past relationships.  I’m not talking about still being friends but really set apart from another woman.

I was in a previous relationship with a man where we decided to go our separate ways but there was a lot of underlying emotions and feelings between us leftover.  He ended up jumping right into a new relationship with another woman and they got close very fast. She failed to do her homework and he failed to heal his heart. She also got invested in a man who was still very much attached to me.  According to him, she would even question him about when he was divorcing me. I sometimes have to laugh at that because it screams desperation. Why would a woman be eager for a man to leave his wife and family just to get entangled in yours? Furthermore, why would you even wish for that? I see a major problem and trend with the women of today pursuing men who are invested in another woman. I’ll explain more later.

Women get invested in taken men all of the time. They settle for less when the signs are present that a man is still connected to his past relationship.  When a relationship ends, there has to be a time for healing. This healing may take months even years but if you chose to jump into a new relationship without healing your last relationship and making sure it’s completely over, you’re just going to repeat the same mistakes again. Does it make sense to invest in a man when he hasn’t even healed even if he told you he has, it’s up to you to do your homework even before you get your heart and mind involved. Stop settling ladies! It’s just not worth it in the long run..

I have a friend who has been in a relationship with a taken man for years. She goes through lots of troubles with him because she made a bad investment in him.  He is attached to another woman even when he says he is not, all of the signs are there.  In conversations with her, she often blames the “other woman” and criticizes her which I found so bizarre because the other woman had him first and my friend is really the glorified side chick. She stalks the other woman and knows her whereabouts and constantly peruses her social profiles. My friend is in serious denial. She allowed herself to get wrapped up in a taken man and believes every word he says. Then she chooses to continue the relationship while aware that he is still connected to another woman. How can that ever be prosperous?  She is going about it in a way that is out of divine order. It’s messy and she suffers greatly for it in her life. I just wish she would see the error of her ways. In the meantime, I continue to wish her well on her journey.

Allow me to share my personal experience with you. I found out my former man of 18 years jumped into a new relationship as soon as we decided to move on. He gave zero time to heal his broken heart. He jumped in a new experience and says he even broke her heart because he never healed himself.  They ended up having several conversations about me. In fact, that’s how the conversations between the two went, talking about me which was what led them together. Go figure! Now if that isn’t a RED FLAG, I don’t know what is. Do you see that the cycle continues over and over and over until you make better choices? It’s clear and evident when a man can’t stop talking about his ex.

Only invest in a man when he is not taken. When he can prove to you that he is available emotionally, physically and spiritually. Too often we don’t even know our own worth so we settle for what appears to be what we think we need only to find out later, it’s not. In the beginning it’s always good when people are wearing their masks and covering up their true selves.  The issues usually unfold when time passes and you start to see all that glitters is not gold.

Signs You Should Not Overlook A.K.A RED FLAGS:
  • When he constantly talks about his past relationship
  • Narcissistic Behavior
  • Missing pieces of the story
  • Pointing fingers at the other person – when a man does this and doesn’t take accountability in the role he played in the breakdown of the relationship, that is a huge red flag
  • Evading necessary questions


Ask the right questions! When you can ask the right questions and dig deeper into the issue, you can find the truth buried there. Failure to ask the right questions will result in a failed relationship.

I hope you learn a valuable lesson here ladies and take this advice on relationships. Never accept a taken man if you want to prosper in your relationship.



Thank you,

taken man 

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